Secrets

One of the best things about being the quiet, average looking girl is the ability to blend into the background, unseen yet still present. Often, my classmates forget I am there, and that is how I collect the only type of currency truly valuable in high school – secrets. The power that comes with being an invisible puppeteer, pulling strings from unexpected places at my leisure, is intoxicating. At some point, enough people might start talking to each other and figure it out, but I doubt it. Secrets have a hold on people that stops them speaking of related issues as well, lest someone somehow guess – and therein lies, I think, their biggest power. Not fear of the reveal – rather, the fear that someone might piece together the clues one by one and figure it out for themselves. The way I think about it is this: the first is death by a single blow – the latter is death by a thousand cuts…

Binge watched Pretty Little Liars after the exams and pretty sure it has inspired the above 😉

Thanks for stopping by 🙂

Ro x

‘A mix of guilt and fear’

To be read in conjunction with ‘First betrayal…and revenge‘…

The only reason I come to the half-open window in the first place is because the wind is swooping through it with unseasonable force for this time of year, and when I catch sight of you next to the car, I freeze. A familiar, nauseating mix of guilt and fear envelopes my heart and a constellation of memories flits through my mind – embraces that have lost their warmth, your earnest protestations that everything will be just fine, a long-sought-for spark as her lips meet mine for the first time. The world quietens and slows for just a moment, as you raise a lit match – and then it speeds up again with a terrifying clarity. As you flick the match and I scream, anger enveloping fear, I realise that I have known from the very beginning what you are capable of.  Continue reading